This month, we’re focusing on pauses. While stores are already stocking Christmas, prompting you to begin the hustle and bustle, we invite you to join us in four ways to stop (Follow along on our Instagram @Third_WayFormation). The first half of October, we are focusing on the pauses of Silence and Solitude. The second half of October, we will meditate on the pauses of Sabbath and of Simplicity. Why do we pause in October? Because when the odds are stacked against you with hectic holiday habits, it's hard to start a pause you've never tried. So we add them to our tool belt in the calm so we can pull them out in the storm. 

Learn from Jesus

Take a couple minutes for a mini Bible study. The following verses reveal ways Jesus engaged with silence and solitude. Spend some time reading and re-reading them to notice how Jesus viewed solitude and retreating. 

“And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed” (Mark 1:35).

“And he said to them, ‘Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.’ For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat” (Mark 6:31).

“And after he had taken leave of them, he went up on the mountain to pray” (Mark 6:46).

“And after he had dismissed the crowds, he went up on the mountain by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone…” (Matt 14:23).

“And when it was day, he departed and went into a desolate place” (Luke 4:42).

“But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:16).

“In these days he went out to the mountain to pray, and all night he continued in prayer to God” (Luke 6:12).

> What patterns emerge?

> For what can silence and solitude be used?

> What was Jesus willing to sacrifice in order to be alone with His Father for extended periods?

Understand Your Needs

Even before branching out to the apostles or Church history, we can see in the life of Jesus many reasons to prioritize silence and solitude. Here are a few:

Spiritual Strengthening

After Jesus’s baptism, He follows the Spirit into the wilderness “to be tested” by the devil. He fasts in solitude for 40 days, and then the tempter appears. While there are a lot of meta-level reasons this story is important, one simple factor is that Jesus shows us how to prepare for trials and temptations in life. In silence and solitude– and through prayerful fasting– we can be strengthened by the Spirit, increasing our intimacy with Christ and, thus, our resolve to resist the devil’s traps. 

Are you entering or in the midst of a spiritually trying season? 

Discernment

Jesus explicitly taught that there are things that only the Father knows. Therefore, Jesus sought wisdom from the Father. One such case is in Luke 6. While Jesus was gathering disciples, calling people to follow Him, He had accumulated more than 12 apprentices. It came time for Him to pick 12 (to represent the 12 tribes of Israel) and Jesus did not know which of them were to be the apostles. So what did He do? He went up on a mountain alone to pray. He prayed all night. When He came down in the morning,  He called all of the disciples together and picked 12 from among them to be the apostles. He didn’t offhandedly ask God once and wonder why He didn’t have an answer. He sought Him through the night, persistently asking God “who gives [wisdom] generously to all without finding fault” (James 1:5). 

Are you in a time of discernment, needing wisdom to move forward?

Rest and Recuperation

Jesus understood the good human limitations within which we must all live. So He sought solitude for himself and for His disciples. When He saw them exhausted from the life of ministry, He invited them to rest. When He was exhausted from ministering, there were times He sent the disciples on ahead so He could withdraw to rest in the Father’s presence. There is a reality evident in these anecdotes that solitude is for both physical rest (for “they had no leisure even to eat”) and spiritual rest. Both are necessary, which is why Sabbath isn’t just a day for lounging, but for worship (see more on this in the next blog post!). 

Are you exhausted, longing for rest that reaches both your fatigue and inner turmoil?

Regular Spiritual Maintenance

Luke 4 and 6 both name specific moments Jesus withdrew for solitude, but in chapter 5, it identifies that this was a lifestyle for Jesus: “But he would withdraw to desolate places and pray” (Luke 5:16). It wasn’t odd for the disciples to see Jesus head off to be alone with the Father. They came to expect it. Some rhythm of retreating is extremely beneficial for preventing the spiritual version of living paycheck to paycheck. It allows you to actually pay your debts and create some savings, so to speak, instead of barely surviving the rat race of life, subsisting on your daily 20 minutes of time with God.

Is it time to schedule a monthly half-day retreat, quarterly one-day retreat, or biannual weekend retreat?

Dip Your Toes In

Here are a few ideas to take steps toward incorporating silence and solitude into your life. 

Spend More Time Without Input

Try things like driving, showering, and doing chores without listening to anything. One of the first steps to prevent absolutely hating silence and solitude is to allow your thoughts to flow. It can feel really uncomfortable to begin this. But practicing silence while you’re actively doing something is easier than going cold turkey on a retreat without tasks that keep your body busy.

Hold Your Tongue

Sometimes the silence isn’t disrupted by external inputs, but your own words. There are many reasons we feel like our words are necessary. Giving input can come from fear that poor decisions will be made without our unique experiences and insight, ego that prioritizes our point of view because it seems wiser or more eloquent, or an absentminded lack of awareness of the people or situation around you. Practicing the humility of holding your tongue speaks back to the fear, pride, and obliviousness that Satan can use to silence others and foment discord. Simply making space for internal processors will bless any community of which you’re part.

Practice Contemplative Spiritual Disciplines

Try Immanuel Walks, Breath Prayer, and Lectio Divina. These are all disciplines that force you to pause and pay attention, preparing you not only for silence but for solitude. 
Immanuel Walks are a prayer walk that doesn’t involve much talking. This is a discipline of visualizing walking with “God with Us” – Immanuel. By visualizing the reality that He is with you on your walk, it makes taking a stroll more intentional and may help you see your everyday surroundings differently or rethink your ever-cycling thought patterns. 
Breath Prayer is a short, repetitive prayer that encourages you to internalize a truth in the slow rhythm of your breath (inhale: “The Lord is my Shepherd” exhale: “I shall not want”). Repeating it until it sinks into your bones creates a formative pause.
Lectio Divina is a prayerful approach to reading Scripture. It forces you to slow down your reading and prevents the intellectual understanding from dominating whatever conversation God wants to have with you. By stopping to meditate on the passage, respond to God, and then simply sit in His presence, you pause long enough for God’s Word to change you.

Your Turn

Silence and solitude is not an easy discipline because we’ve been greatly deformed by our overstimulating society, but your efforts will be rewarded as you partner with what the Spirit is already doing to hone who you’re becoming. If you’ve tried silence and solitude before, share in the comments what’s been challenging or helpful. Which of these small steps will you try to incorporate? Planning for a retreat day is a great motivator, like signing up for a 5k to get you running. So get one on the calendar and give yourself a goal.